Preverbal Trauma and Attachment

Geri Robertson, RPC

There is plenty of research done on birth trauma from the mother’s perspective and how it can affect Mom; from the inability to bond with their newborn to the loss of trust in their own body, the trauma experienced can even result in PTSD, sometime preventing some women from having more children.

However, there is little emphasis put on and understanding around how preverbal trauma - the trauma experienced from the perspective of the infant and how it affects their attachment to mom and the impact it has on their development trajectory. 

In my practice, I have witnessed a correlation between preverbal trauma and attachment no matter how early on, either in-utero, during birth or within the first year of life.

Preverbal Trauma can be but is not limited to the following.

1.    Long labor or short labor

2.    Umbilical cord wrapped around fetus’s neck.

3.    C-section

4.    Uterine Inertia, this is when the contractions slow down or stop altogether.

5.    Induction of labor

6.    Epidural

7.    Baby in the wrong position

8.    Medical intervention such as an operation in infancy

When one of the above is experienced, the infant’s executive function goes offline. Brain damage does not occur. However, the saturation of the stress hormones disrupts brain growth in the long term and if the infant is taken from mom because of medical intervention, this severely impacts their attachment.

To understand how preverbal trauma affects attachment, we need first, to understand what attachment is.  When we are born, and through our early childhood, we learn one of two things: our caregivers are either trusted to give us the protection and the safety we need (food, shelter and protection from harm) or alternately this trust is broken.

If one or all these needs are not met, our attachment to our caregiver is altered.  If we can not trust we will be safe, we are then immediately in survival mode and grow to believe our core needs are not going to be met.  Putting the infant on an altered development trajectory. The child will be constantly looking for comfort, overreacting when either hungry or their parent is out of sight, or if they feel threatened in some way they enter a state of flight, fight or freeze; our basic instincts are triggered.

An interrupted attachment can be the reason for many issues from low-self esteem to challenging behaviors; it is the basis of great distress when we feel our connection to our parent or primary caregiver is threatened.

I treated a young boy - 8 years old. He had terrible difficulty with separation anxiety when he was away from his mother, outside of normal activity. He managed to play outside and go to school. However, he experienced great difficulty at school, had a difficult time socially. Going to and being at school became something he was averse to and his inability to tolerate was creating anxiety for him. It was developing into a school aversion disorder. His fear of being away from his mother was interrupting the natural progression of making and keeping friends because he could not tolerate overnights at a friend’s house. 

His greatest struggle arose when his mom went away, he could not tolerate it. Calling her incessantly, unable to sleep or eat, acting out in school and at home in often violent ways.  By the time Mom returned home after only one overnight away, it took him days to recover to normal behavior.

After a few sessions, I asked Mom what his birth story was, she informed me that it was a difficult birth. One where she was very scared from start to finish, and after her son was born, he was taken from her, put in an ambulance, lights and sirens blaring and rushed to another hospital 45 minutes away. She was not present during this time.  The baby was taken from his mother’s womb, not given time to rest on her skin to make that first contact and connection.  This separation may have been necessary to save his life, however, it left him forever changed. Until they entered therapy.

This early experience, creating core memory, was one of a life-threatening impact.  This child had no idea this had happened to him when he entered my office.  During our session, I told him his birth story. I explained to him how this experience may have impacted him emotionally and how he, as a newborn baby, might have experienced it as though he were going to die because he was taken away from the one person, he knew instinctively he needed to survive.  His brain was flooded with stress hormones and locked part of it in survival mode. This preverbal trauma directly affected his attachment. He had developed an insecure attachment to his mother. 

Part of his therapy consisted of his mother telling him the story and answering any questions he had, as well as reassuring him she was always going to be there.  Over time, he assimilated the story, was able to do his own subjective internal work, and came to a deeper understanding of his fear of being away from his mother. His understanding of his birth story gave him agency, a sort of control, because there was an underlying reason for his feelings and behaviors. He became more relaxed and now tolerates his mom being away overnight.  He has sleepovers now that last up to two days.  And recently spent a week away at camp, something he would not have been able to tolerate just a year before.  This is one of many stories I’ve encountered that correlates children’s maladaptive behavior, with pre-verbal trauma.

This behavior starts expressing itself around the age of three, however, not usually acted upon by parents until much later, around the age of 6 to 8, mainly because caregivers and teachers are not aware of what is going on.

Knowing this important detail of a child’s preverbal trauma can make all the difference leading to success in the child’s developmental trajectory.  If those who encounter the child at a young age (from parents to daycare and onto the school years) are aware, the outcome of these children could and does make a major difference. 

Understanding preverbal trauma and its impact answers a lot of questions in early childhood. Questions around attachment, ma adaptive behaviors, as well as anti-social behavior, even ADHD tendencies can be resolved.

With a deeper understanding, we can help our children and ourselves become more in tune with what is needed to create a calmer and more peaceful child and family dynamic and home.